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PILOT SIDES;
Below are some more recent casting sides from the Studio 60 pilot for the characters Wes Mendell, Marylyn Rudolph (Jack's wife) and Julie (a woman at Matt and Danny's table at the Writer's Guild Awards). You'll notice some slight changes from the original script - names are changed, some lines are omitted or extended on, and so forth.
Wes
Marylyn
Julie
Wes
SIMON (CONT'D)
Let's give it up one more time for Bobcat Willy and the Studio 60 Band. Willy, take us to the starting line.
And the HOUSE BAND kicks into warm-up music.
We've FOLLOWED the PA to the back of the vomitorium where WES is in the middle of it with the network executive, JERRY.
WES
No let's keep this rational, okay, let's have some rationality, because this conversation--
PA
Excuse me--
WES
(to the PA)
I want Jack Rudolph on the phone.
JERRY
Wes--
PA
Sir, I don't know how to call--
JERRY
Jack's at a dinner party.
WES
Let's disturb him.
JERRY
Jack pays me to make these calls.
WES
And Jack pays me to do this show, you ridiculous fat-ass.
(to the PA)
What's your name?
PA
Suzanne.
WES
Pick up that phone, dial zero-six and tell my secretary to get me the Chairman of NBS.
PA (SUZANNE)
Yes sir.
JERRY
(to SUZANNE)
Stay where you are.
WES
Suzanne--
JERRY
I'm trying to save us all a lot of tsuris.
WES
Jerry, it's a funny sketch. It killed at dress and funny has been in short supply around here lately.
JERRY
I'm in charge of Broadcast Standards and Practices, I'm not in charge of funny.
WES
Who's gonna be offended by this?
JERRY
Wes--
WES
Who? Tell me! Give me their names!
JERRY
People who--religious people. God, Wes, and you knew that when you--what do you want me to say to the 50 million people who are gonna go out of their minds as soon as it airs?
WES
Well first of all, you can tell 'em we average 9 million households so at least 41 million of them are full of crap. Second, you can tell 'em that living where there's free speech means sometimes you're gonna get offended.
JERRY
You gotta cut the sketch.
WES
And replace it with what?
JERRY
Whatever you want. Peripheral Vision Man is ready, you can--
WES
Peripheral Vision Man isn't funny and it's never been funny. You know what, I want to talk to Jordan McDeere.
JERRY
You can't.
WES
She's at a dinner party too?
JERRY
Yes, yes she is, it's the same dinner party. It's a dinner party for Jordan McDeere. You don't have a lot of time.
WES
(beat)
What happens if I say no. What if I go on the air with the sketch?
JERRY
I'm not gonna answer that.
WES
Why?
JERRY
'Cause if you still had the muscle to do it you wouldn't have asked.
WES
(pause--then to SUZANNE)
Tell the control room we're cutting 4A and filling with Peripheral Vision Man.
SUZANNE heads off...
JERRY
Thank you.
And JERRY heads off...
WES stands there a moment. He looks out onto the stage from the back of the vomitorium and sees RICKY and RON--two guys we'll get to meet later. They catch his glance and give him a nod.
Marylyn
WHITE
That's a dumb major.
JORDAN
Yes sir.
JACK
They don't teach much law at Yale Law School either.
WHITE
Two years in Business Affairs at Atlantic Records, two years as Vice President in charge of Production at United Artists--a company I was surprised to learn still existed--
The GUESTS laugh...
WHITE (CONT'D)
--four years at NBC, where she saw to it tht Jay Leno spanked David Letterman on a regular basis. I believe you were personally responsible for booking Hugh Grant after his Sunset Boulevard mishap.
JORDAN
Yes, but that was the only thing I was personally responsible for with regards to the mishap.
JACK
What about the spanking of Letterman?
The table laughs...
WHITE
Stop flirting with the help, Jack, that's what I'm here for.
JACK'S WIFE
Yes Jack, stop.
WHITE
To the news division you went and the CBS Morning Show, where you took the program from a 16 to a 19 share and a 13% increase in the demo. Jack, I commend you for making such an astute hire,
(MORE)
Julie
ACT TWO
TITLE:
Matt and Danny
We HEAR the sound of plates, glasses and silverware crashing around for a moment and then
FADE IN:
INT. BEVERLY HILTON BALLROOM - NIGHT
--as MATTHEW ALBIE, 33, sits on the floor, having tried to sit in a chair that wasn't there. He's grabbed a bit of the tablecloth on the way down, upsetting some of the place settings. None of his friends at the table seem terribly shocked. As MATT makes his way back up, he apologizes...
MATT
Sorry. That was strange. I'm sorry.
DANNY
You okay?
MATT
Oh yeah.
(explaining to the table)
I'm on some medication right now that makes me--I guess--not know where chairs are.
It's the Writers Guild Awards and the stage of the ballroom is decked out for the occasion. GUESTS and NOMINEES sit at tables in black tie and evening gowns. We're in the dinner portion and a small jazz band is playing so the guests have to raise their voices sometimes.
MATT's wearing a black-on-black tuxedo. Also at the table is DANIEL TRIPP, 35--Matt's best friend and partner.
DANNY
I think because there are reporters here tonight it's important to make it clear that he means he's on back medication.
MATT
Yeah.
(beat)
Hm?
JULIE
How did you hurt your back?
MATT
It happened when a surgeon sliced it open with a knife.
DANNY
He had back surgery a few days ago.
JULIE
You're on Vicodin?
MATT
Yeah, I may have exceeded the recommended dosage.
PAUL
Should you be out of bed this soon?
MATT
Not according to the experts but I play with pain.
PAUL
Well they haven't gotten to your category yet. They're doing the awards between courses this year.
MATT
Great, thanks.
PAUL
How's your back?
MATT
Good as new. Where's your wife?
JULIE
Sitting right next to her husband, I was just talking to you.
MATT
Sure. I'm on a little Vicodin and some Percocet and a steroid called Nortisone, the side effect of which is mania--I swear to God, it says so right on the bottle.
JULIE
You're here alone.
MATT
All alone.
DANNY
They broke up, it was 'cause he couldn't stop himself from speaking, end of story, let's move on.
MATT
I was right, she was wrong, and I'm all about the truth partner.
DANNY
Be about the truth, just don't do it out loud.
MATT
That's fine.
DANNY
'Cause Karen over here got invited to the Friday night wrap party and I thought it might be a fun thing to do after.
MATT
For Studio 60?
KAREN
Yeah, I'm friends with Felicity Huffman and she's guest hosting tonight.
MATT
Noooo, no no.
DANNY
Come on.
KAREN
You don't like Felicity?
DANNY
See--
MATT
No, I like Felicity fine ,but I used to date one of the cast members and like Danny said, we broke up and it would be awkward if I went to the party and...
(beat)
...killed her in front of all those people.
KAREN
Which one?
DANNY
If you get him telling the story--
MATT
Harriet Hayes.
KAREN
Oh, she's amazing.
JULIE
Isn't she?
KAREN
How many women in the world are there who are that beautiful and that funny? She's one of a kind, she's special, I'd hold on to her.
MATT
Now you tell me.
JULIE
What happened with you and Harriet?
DANNY
No, no, Julie--
MATT
It was because of the Star Spangled Banner, thqat's why we broked up. The Star Spangled Banner and what used to be called honesty.
JULIE
What did the Star Spangled Banner have to do with--
DANNY
(to JULIE)
I need you to be working with me.
MATT
She was singing it before a Dodger game.
PAUL
Who were they playing.
DANNY
What could it possibly matter?
MATT
St. Louis. And Danny and I had just gotten back from London to do press for the movie and that's an 11 hour flight with an 8 hour time change so I wasn't able to make it out to the stadium after I landed/
PAUL
And she got mad?
MATT
Yes she certainly did, but that's not why we broke up.
DANNY
Seriously, everybody, I'll give you each a hundred dollars if you don't ask him why they broke up.
MATT
Danny, I wasn't being misanthropic and I wasn't being a jerk. To let it go would have been patronizing, it would've left this big patronizing matzoh ball out there for the rest of our relationship, which, as it turned out, would only have lasted another 20 seconds.
An M.C. takes the podium.
M.C.
Well ladies and gentlement, it's time to give out some more awards. To present in the category of Outstanding Original Screenplay is two-time Academy Award winner and two-time Writer's Guild Award winner Robert Towne.
ROBERT TOWNE comes out to great APPLAUSE. We'll HEAR him giving an introduction in the background and then announce the nominees as the scene continues at the table.
JULIE
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on the hundred bucks. What did you do to her?
MATT
I didn't do anything to her. Later that night she's still giving me a hard time about not hearing her sing at the game and she's trying to guilt me a little bit and she said, "I was great, by the way, I got a standing ovation." And I said--sincerely-- "Harriet, I'm sure you were great, but it was the National Anthem, they were standing already."
JULIE
Aye.
MATT
Yeah, that's when the wheels came off the wagon.
JULIE
Why would you--
MATT
Because first of all, I was trying to make her laugh which is a nice thing to do. Second, Roseanne Barr got a standing ovation when she sang the damn--to not say anything--
JULIE
--would've been patronizing.
MATT
So you get it.
JULIE
No you blew it with Harriet Hayes.
MATT
I'm the only sane person I know.
And at that moment, the ballroom bursts into APPLAUSE. Everyone at MATT and DANNY's table--as well as the near surrounding tables--stands up in their ovation. DANNY grabs MATT and hugs him, which MATT misinterprets as--
MATT (CONT'D)
(quietly in DANNY's ear as they embrace)
Thanks, man. I really miss her. I do. I'm dying inside and I appreciate your support.
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