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THE COLD OPEN SKIT;

The song is to the tune of the Major General's Song from Pirates of Penzance. An mp3 version can be downloaded at www.sendspace.com/file/g89ife

ALL:
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show
Each time that we walk into this august and famous studio
We're starting out from scratch after a run of twenty years and so
We hope that you don't mind that our producer was caught doing blow

CHORUS:
They hope that you don't mind that their producer was caught doing blow
They hope that you don't mind that their producer was caught doing blow
They hope that you don't mind that their producer was caught doing mounds of blow

MEN:
Yes it's hard to be a player when at heart you've always had a hunch
To bite the hand that feeds you is a scary way of doing lunch
But still when we walk into this august and famous studio
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show

CHORUS:
But still when they walk into this august and famous studio
They'll be the very model of a modern network TV show

HARRIET:
I am a Christian tried and true, baptised at age eleven
So unlike the liberals, gays and Jews I'm going straight to heaven

JEANNIE:
But if you feel you've been cheated and our sordid content lets you down

WOMEN:
We'll happily do the favour of an intellectual reach-around

CHORUS:
They'll happily do the favour of an intellectual reach-around
They'll happily do the favour of an intellectual reach-around
They'll happily do the favour of a hundred dollar hooker's reach-around

HARRIET: (spoken)
That wasn't the same thing we said!

CHORUS:
They'll happily do the favour of a verbal euphemistic reach-around

ALL:
We know the Evangelicals are lining up to tag our toe
And then the corporations will not hesitate to pull their dough
But still when we walk into this august and famous studio
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show

But still when we walk into this august and famous studio
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show

But still when we walk into this august and famous studio
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show